I have never felt a more beautiful pain then the time I spend mad at you. In my heart I’m steady loving you. In my head I’m attacking you. Break up, to make up. Leaving to come back to you. Complaining and crying just so later I can laugh at you. I do little things that annoy you just to take a stab at you. Push you away just to grab at you. This isn’t practical. This is complication. This is such a situation. I couldn’t expect people to understand. They say walk away, I can’t when my heart is in your hand. I’m walking a thin line between love & hate, and if I walk away I’ll suffocate. This is my twisted love story. Never a moment boring. A fantasy world where simplicity is as far fetched as 2 plus 2, this is me and you. Somehow in all our madness this is happiness. Its tragic but this is how history happens. I fell for someone who was just as off the wall as me. Someone crazy enough to fall for me. So I try to make sense of the constant back and forth battle of trying to keep a hold of emotions when we should just flow with the emotions. Always trying to shut it down, when I’m already open. We’re both so outspoken that sometimes we say too much. Then we don’t want to speak, until we touch. And I can no longer front. Even when I’m mad, you’re still what I want. This feeling sucks. I no longer want to care because I’m scared. This is such an exciting fear. Because before I know what’s happening you’re back again. Then you leave, and I’m sad again. We cant help that we’re both stubborn. Neither one wants to be the first to give in. So who wins? I’m a loser if I lose you. I don’t have a choice and even if I did, I would still choose you. I've never wanted to be mad so bad in my life. Never hurt so bad to know it’ll be alright. Go back on every word I said, because I said, "I'm done!" Then I look in your eyes and I see where you're coming from. I couldn't ever imagine pleasurable torture until my mind was somehow contorted in the name of love. In the name of us. Every time I want to give up. I am filled with grief. So I hang on to the beliefs that neither one of us will ever leave. This is what was meant to be. This is having faith the size of a mustard seed. This is happily ever after aftermath. Because once upon a time, I never knew pain could be beautiful. Once upon a time, I didn’t know you.