That's a bold statement to make right? It is quite possible that he can love me and not want anything to do with me. Lord knows, I've felt the same way. Doesn't stop it from hurting. Doesn't stop it from waking me in the middle of the night with gut wrenching pains that I've named, "you should be here."
But I believe it. I believe he doesn't love me anymore and it's so scary to be unloved after so many years with no one to check if you made it in the house safe or lift a case of water into the house. The feeling of being unloved might be too much to bear. But what is the alternative? Calling him up and saying, "Hey, I need you to love me again!" Because even if by some stroke of luck he did, I wouldn't know what to do with it.
I have no idea how to fix us, so instead we stay broken. in the same sky but never at the same time.