I have a new scar and I can't stop looking at it. It says a little bit about where I've been but mostly it shows a road I didn't have to take. It's invisible to most people. You would only see it if you've undressed me and kissed me gently in that soft spot, but if you just undress me, you'll miss it. You won't even notice it and you will completely overlook much of who I am. Because that one inch scar is not like my stretch marks. It's not like the one on my knee from riding my bike down the steps. It's not like the scars you don't see.
This scar is unapologetic and I swear it has a voice, scrutinizing how I live my life. Tassika, did you find joy today? Were you patient? Did you do everything out of love? Did you meditate? And did you tell yourself not to feel guilty when you think of paying a bill in the middle of it and you have to start over? This scar is a biopsy in my favor and favor ain't fair. My God, favor and fair. And I'm so grateful, I don't get what I deserve all the time. I get hard days, lonely days, and days where I tell myself that my body is so gross, I should shower with clothes on.
But every day, my scar says, you heal well. Your tears are the glue that seals the open wounds. And the most beautiful thing about you are your scars. Don't ever be so vain to forget that.
As we all stumble into 2016 (let's admit it, y'all ain't that graceful), acknowledge the grace that's over your life. Thank God when your train is late. Maybe you avoided a run in with someone who wanted to fill your head with nonsense. Thank God when the job you want doesn't want you. It's not what you need. Thank God your first world problems are in the first world. No wifi is better than no electricity. Gratitude doesn't mean you don't complain. It means you don't dwell.
It means you let your wounds become scars, neatly sealed pockets of a pain you no longer have to feel. Just another line in the map of where you've been, where you're going and the places you thank God you didn't have to go.